The lesson was focused on Nehemiah 4. In this passage, Nehemiah is leading the Jews in the momentous job of rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem. The task is not only challenging from the practical standpoint of construction, it is also not a welcome project to the region in general, because it threatens the balance of power to the surrounding nations. In fact, in verse 1 of Chapter 4, the main antagonist to Nehemiah, a man named Sanballat, is described as becoming very angry upon hearing that the Jews are beginning to rebuild the wall. This is the beginning of ongoing attacks to threaten the Jews to stop construction. I encourage you to read the chapter. The interesting fact about these attacks is that they are not physical attacks. They are not full-on, hand-to-hand combat attacks. They are subtle, and sneaky, very unpredictable — just like the attacks of our enemy, Satan.

As I studied this passage in Nehemiah, God brought to mind Ephesians 6:12:

“For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” (NLT)

Nehemiah faced 6 different enemy tactics in Nehemiah 4 and the first part of Nehemiah 6.

1. Ridicule

2. Intimidation

3. Discouragement

4. Fear

5. Compromise

6. Slander

As I studied these different attacks, I realized that I had been under an attack, and I didn’t even realize it. Not only had I been under attack, but I had responded to it and had even given Satan a foothold in my life. 1 Peter 5:8 says:

Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. (NLT)

I had not stayed alert and the enemy knew it, and took advantage of the opportunity. Have you even seen The Lion King? A few weeks ago, I went and saw it in 3D with my family. There is a part in the movie where a female lion named Nala, has grown up and left her home in search for food. Lionesses are hunters, and Nala is in full hunting mode as she hides in the grass waiting to attack her prey. That picture reminds me of our enemy, Satan. He hides where we cannot see him, and he is watching us, waiting for an opportunity to attack. He isn’t going to attack someone who is aware and is on guard. He is going to look for someone that is unaware, and perhaps, as was the case with me, someone who is complacent.

If you reread the tactics that Nehemiah faced, they are subtle attacks. Each time Nehemiah was attacked, he responded in ways that are foundational to how we should respond to the attacks we face from our enemy. How should we respond to the attacks?

1. Prayer. We can never pray enough. It is our first line of defense, not our last hope. We should be prayerful at all times and should ask God not only for protection, but for wisdom to face the attacks and trials.

2. Prepare for battle. We should always be prepared for a battle when we least expect it, and not be surprised when the enemy attacks. When the attacks escalated, Nehemiah had the Jews work on the wall with a sword in their hands at all times. Eph. 6:10-12 tells us about the armor of God and how to put it on. I realized that I know what the armor is, but so many times, I forget to put it on! God gives us what we need for battle, we can never forget the simplicity of putting it on!

3. Keep our guard up. The enemy is always looking for an opportunity and we can never become lazy.

4. Speaking the truth. We must know His Word and use it to battle the lies of the attack. The truth is a light and when the light shines, the darkness cannot exist where there is light.

As I studied these truths, and the light shone, I realized where the darkness had attacked my life. As the truth was revealed, as God’s Word says, the darkness had to flee. The release from the weight that I didn’t even know was there, was overwhelming. God desires freedom in our lives and I was reminded that because of HIs love and power in my life, the might of the ONE who defends me is greater than any attack that can come against me.

“And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” Phil. 4:19 (ESV)

There are a couple of thoughts that entered my mind as I read this verse this morning. First of all, He is the supply, the source. Secondly, He knows our need, better than we do and many times He knows what we truly need when we don’t even have a clue. Exhibit A: Jesus Christ. He knew we needed a Savior before we even existed. And finally, how will He provide for our needs? According to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. That means He will provide for our needs in really cool ways that we cannot understand but can be in awe of because how else do you respond to God’s glory but in complete awe?

I am not sure where your needs are today. I think I know where mine are, but am more certain HE knows my needs better than I do. My prayer for all of us today is that we lean into Him as our source, and that we cry out to Him in need for His glory to shine through us.

Commence discomfort. Do I just want to be better at outward displays of humility? You know, just be good at making others think I am truly humble or do I want it to be real humility. I could study humble acts, or a humble posture because if I am communicating humility to others, isn’t that enough? It’s all about “displaying” Christ, right? The discussion I had with myself was that I just needed to have a more humble posture, because all that mattered was what others thought, right? Wrong.

“But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7) NLT

Oh how this verse has hung on to my spirit for the last year. The truth of scripture does that. As Hebrews 4:12 says, it is “sharper than any 2 edged sword, cutting, piercing, it goes straight to the heart of the matter.”

So again, do I truly desire humility? I could do all the outward activity of humility I could study humble acts and postures, but then is that real? This is the deal, we can practice humility outwardly, we can do all the “right” things, but if it is not a true condition of our heart, it will ring false. We can be a great actress, and some of us are better at it than others, however, that will not last for us. Why? well first of all, others can discern the falseness of our efforts. We are silly to think that the Holy Spirit doesn’t reveal it to others.

Secondly, it won’t endure. It takes a lot of thought and effort on our part and we aren’t that good. The truth always comes out, and when we are put under intense pressure or shaken and something doesn’t go our way, the reality of who we are squeezes out. Also, the enemy can take advantage of our falseness. We may get credit for our humility, but that is the feeding ground for pride.  We love it because we are told how sweet and humble we are, and as we get noticed, the enemy can deceive us into believing WE deserve recognition and notice, and you got it, we are prideful of our humility. Ironic, huh?

As God allows us to learn over and over again, we may have others fooled, but never Him. He is not impressed the way others are impressed. That is because He is concerned with our heart. So before we can display true humility, it is something we must first see God do in us. It is an  inside out process that we will not get glory for, but He will get glory from.

The first part is being still. That means not moving. I believe this is not just a physical stillness, but a mental stillness too. Be still, and KNOW. He is God. There is no doubt that HE is God. He is the I AM. There is no doubt of fact that He is the ONE. The greatness of being in God’s presence illicits a stillness. If we are fully aware of who He is, we will be still.

So I am that child. I need to “Be still”, to turn and put my eyes on Him, and listen. Knowing that I am in the presence of God, should make me ready to listen.

At first, I tried to take the approach that I should as a Christ follower. “God, I trust you. If you want this to happen it will.” I was going to be mature about it. However, I didn’t really, really mean it. Deep down, I was still taking the approach that He would give me what I want. That I would get to do my event and I would give him the glory because he loved me so much that He would give me what I wanted. That was so incredibly wrong of me. It caused me to think about all the times I give Him the glory because He gives me what I want. The recognition for this came when I experienced a disppointment that sprialed into discouragement and was followed by a lot of other negative junk. You see, the enemy used my selfishness to give way to a feeling of entitlement and expectation of God. “Every good and perfect gift comes down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” James 1:17.

His good is defined by Him, not me. I may not even have a clue what His good is for me. It may be something I am not even aware of. I can only see what is within my human limitations. My great, unchanging God can see so much more and I limit Him when I think He is only concerned with my good in that moment. The enemy had a heyday with me, I am sad to say. My family didn’t know it because I kept most of it to myself, which is what the enemy wants. He is all about doing damage that no one can see because then he can get a foothold and go to work doing more damage. I realized that what started as a small disappointment in the big scheme of life started to grow and so did the darkness in my heart that came with it.

Now, I am not saying that we should not give God the glory for the good things in our lives. We should! He does great things and great blessings. We should give Him the glory for everything in our lives. The good and what feels like the bad. It is all his. Our happiness is not defined by our cirmcumstances, our peace is defined by the One who is greater than our circumstances.

So what happened? Well, the event happened and I apologized to God for my very immature temper tantrum. And what was the event? Well, that’s the thing. I don’t feel that I should describe the details of the event. It was a blessing that God used in my life to be sure. He came through in a way more than I could have ever imagined. In this case, I just want it to be about Him, not my event. I should not be conditional about my recognition of God in my life. I will admit a very ugly truth: Am I just willing to “give him glory” for the great things in my life when really I just want to brag about an event? Ugh. Yeah, that kinda destroys the idea that it is about Him doesn’t it? It is a heart check. When I say I am glorifying God, am I hoping that I will be noticed and told how blessed I am or am I truly wanting others to look past me and see God?

“He must increase, but I must decrease.” John 3:30.

If you haven’t seen Kung Fu Panda, you should. It is a great story of an unlikely hero who learns to believe in himself. At the beginning of the movie, the hero, Po, is chosen as the “Dragon Warrior” , the chosen one to protect the village. However, Po is an overweight, untrained Panda who only knows how to make noodles. All of the other warriors who have trained for years in hopes of the calling, believe there has been a terrible mistake. Even Po doubts that he could ever attain such greatness. In a moment of great discouragement, Po is found by the Kung Fu master, Oogway, at the top of a mountain. Po is stuffing his face with peaches, since he eats when he is stressed. Po confesses to Oogway all of his doubts and his lack of ability. There is no way he could ever compare to so many others that have the abilities and training that he does not have. Po wants to quit and go back to making noodles. Oogway says to Po,

“Quit, don’t quit. Noodles, no noodles. You are too concerned about what was and what will be. There is a saying: Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift, that is why it is called the present.”

The Holy Spirit quickened my heart in that moment. In the midst of being stuck inside for days at time, the schedule of life turned upside down, I was reminded that each day is a gift from God. It caused me to think about how much I was concerned about what was and what will be, and how little I focused on the present. It was still fresh on my mind the next morning when I opened a devotional, “Jesus Calling.” I read:

” I am with you and for you.  You face nothing alone–nothing! When you feel anxious, know that you are focusing on the visible world and leaving me out of the picture. The remedy is simple: Fix your eyes not on what is seen but on what is unseen. Verbalize your trust in Me, the Living One who sees you always. I will get you safely through this day and all your days. But you can find me only in the present. Each day is a precious gift from our Father. How ridiculous to grasp for future gifts when today’s is set before you! Receive today’s gift gratefully, unwrapping  it tenderly and delving into its depths. As you savor this gift, you find me.”

What started with a family movie, led me to God’s word. Psalm 118:24 says, ” This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” He made the day. It is not my day. Do I see the day as a day filled with things He desires me to accomplish for Him or do I see it as MY day with MY things. As I open my gift today, it may be filled with what seem to be meaningless tasks, but I cannot question how He will choose to use those tasks for His glory. It is my job to “walk in a manner worthy of the calling”. If I am His, and He has ordained this day, then I can look in expectation to each day, to what the great God of the universe has planned for me.

So what is in your “present” today?

Besides being a freak about my Savior, my husband and my children, I must admit I am a freak about Bible Study. What does it mean to be a freak? Well, in my mind, it means to be kind of strange and overexcited about something. You know what I mean, the kind of person who talks about the subject of their freakiness constantly. Maybe they are kind of obsessed with it, it is thing thing that really gets them going. You know the person that shares their freakiness with everyone because they want others to share in the freakiness with them. That is how I feel about Bible Study. I really want to be in Bible Study with everyone I know. Why am I this way?

First of all, I need it. On my own, I am a mess. I am insecure, prideful, and bunch of other junk that the enemy uses to distract me and keep my eyes off of Christ. This is the deal. Our brains are going to be full of something. We aren’t going to be without any thought at all. God’s Word tells us that we are in a spiritual battle and the prime location for that battle is in our minds. If we are not filled with HIS truth than the enemy will use it as a prime opportuinity to go after us. That is why His Word says to “take every thought captive.”  (2 Cor. 10:5) I need God’s truth. It keeps me focused on Him and it keeps me in the mindset of God’s perspective. Otherwise, I am thinking about myself and MY perspective which is not a great place to be. The more I am thinking about myself, the less I am thinking about Christ.

Another reason that I am a freak, is encapsualted in 2 Timothy 3:16-17.  “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man (or woman) of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.”  At the beginning of that verse it says that “scripture is BREATHED out by God.”  Everytime I read this verse I have a picture in my mind of opening my Bible and the breath of God coming out and I can take a deep breath of HIM.  His word can fill my lungs, be the very air that I breathe in my life. And this is the thing; if I am breathing His word in, then at some point I will need to exhale and hopefully that “breath” of His Word coming out of me, will bless others and they will see Him, not me.

While there are many other reasons I feel the way I do about Bible Study, the last one I want to share is my need for fellowshipping with other sisters in Christ. It is a “safe” place for me. I know it sounds strange that being with a group of women would feel safe, but the women that I meet through Bible Study are real sisters in Christ. They are hungry for real friendships, for prayer, and they desire to see God do a work in their lives! I love it because they are sisters of all ages and in every season of life. They are big sisters and little sisters that God uses in mighty ways in my life.  I never realized this until a few years ago. I was in a time of deep sadness and struggle, bordering on hopelessness. Besides my amazing husband, John, and a couple of close friends, I had lost trust in others. I had been hurt and was suspicious of other believers. Frankly, I wasn’t going to let anyone in because I thought they would turn on me the way others had. God used Women’s Bible Study to begin the healing process. While I couldn’t talk about what I was going through, I still felt safe there. I could feel God using these women in my life. It was in their eyes, they cared about me and that was what I needed. Ever since that time, it has been the passion of my heart to minister to other sisters the same way God used them to minsiter to me.

So yes, I am a freak about Bible Study. And I really hope I can share that freakiness with others for a long time.

Exile. What does that word mean? The word conjures up images of a evil leader being sentenced on a desert island forever separated from the people and country that he demonized. Exile is defined as “the state or a period of forced absence from one’s country or home”. It is characterized by the fact that it is forced. It is not an idea or suggestion. It is done to you or maybe you have done something to deserve it. The story of the Israelites in exile is not just a history lesson. What happened to God’s chosen people happens to this chosen, saved gal. I have experienced a time of spiritual exile before. I have been in a place where I begged God to move me out of the “foreign land” I was in and take me to a new one or better yet the “promised one”. Was it self-imposed exile? Maybe. Had I been disobedient? I am sure I have at times. However, I believe there other times in our lives where God says “I put you here for a reason. You may not like it but it is my plan.” He is soveriegn and we are to be obedient. That’s it. We are to trust God and do what His Word tells us to do, being faithful to seek Him and follow the call He has placed on our lives as believers. I can either submit to the great God of the universe and let Him work in me, teaching me or I can kick and scream and learn it the hard way. Either way, He is God and He will accomplish His plan. I can either join Him in it or extend the lesson because He has to remind me who I am dealing with.

Even though I don’t like the whole idea of exile, I have to know there is always a loving God there with me. I am not alone.

Passages to read: Jer. 29:4-14, Isaiah 40: 1-8

Erin lead worship and I think it was my favorite part of the night. I admit that I am baised, but I still think it was God using her and her leadership. I enjoyed the new friends that I met and thought it was so cool to see girls that were total strangers moments before, sit together like they came in the same car! We talked about what it means to wait on the Lord, a message given from Isaiah. Isaiah, a man who had been in the very presence of God. (Isaiah 6)

I would love to hear what God has been telling you all this week. Have you been meditating on Psalm 62: 5-7? What do you think? Is God those things to you?  Do you know Him as your hope, your rock, your salvation, your fortress, your salvation, your refuge?

I can’t wait to see you all on Thursday!

Today I have been thinking about the true joy of being with other believers worshipping the great God that we serve. What a huge honor! I love being in the midst of my brothers and sisters in Christ, glorifying the most High for who He is, thanking Him for a sacrifice and a love that I don’t deserve and could never repay. To simply humble my heart before Him and try in my inadequate human way to express how much He means to me. It is air to my very soul.

Why am I so excited about corporate worship today? Well, it is the expectation of worshipping with my sisters in Christ on Thursday night. Yes, I can’t wait. It is like looking forward to a party. I have an expectation of meeting with my Savior that night. I know He will be there. The Spirit will be there in our midst, doing His thing. I know it has put me on my knees praying that He would move. I want God to speak to me through the Holy Spirit, revealing His truth, convicting me, doing the work that He wants to do in my life. I love it that I won’t be the only one drawing close to the great God of the universe. It is the gift of fellowshipping with other believers, knowing that there will be other women in that room, passionate to hear the truth, desiring to worship in Spirit and Truth! (John 4:24)

As I realize how God will use this time to fill each of us, I am also reminded that this does not come without responsibility. It is not just feel good time. I can be assured that as I sit at the feet of my Father that He will have a lot to teach me. Will I be willing to accept the work that needs to be done in my life?  I sure hope so. I guess that means I need to pray for a willing heart. I am reminded of something our pastor-teacher, Dennis Newkirk, said years ago. “God won’t take you past the last time you said no to Him”. So if I want to go deeper, to experience more than just a “happy” feeling, I need to be willing to show up to my part in this relationship. God wants to change my life, will I respond in obedience so He can?

Like I said, I can’t wait to worship.