So last week there was an event, a planned event. It was one of those things that you look forward to for months. It involved a lot of factors that had to be planned and frankly that took some doing to get it all to work. I was really looking forward to this event. I needed it and trusted that God was going to use it to encourage my heart and my spirit. I felt that it fell under one of those things that God would want for my life. I had my own little countdown going. I could not wait! And then it happened. It snowed, again. Snow by itself is not a big thing, unless you get a lot of it and you live in a part of the country that is not equipped to handle large amounts of snow. The event was placed in jepoardy. The thing I had looked foreward to, looked like it might not happen at all.
At first, I tried to take the approach that I should as a Christ follower. “God, I trust you. If you want this to happen it will.” I was going to be mature about it. However, I didn’t really, really mean it. Deep down, I was still taking the approach that He would give me what I want. That I would get to do my event and I would give him the glory because he loved me so much that He would give me what I wanted. That was so incredibly wrong of me. It caused me to think about all the times I give Him the glory because He gives me what I want. The recognition for this came when I experienced a disppointment that sprialed into discouragement and was followed by a lot of other negative junk. You see, the enemy used my selfishness to give way to a feeling of entitlement and expectation of God. “Every good and perfect gift comes down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” James 1:17.
His good is defined by Him, not me. I may not even have a clue what His good is for me. It may be something I am not even aware of. I can only see what is within my human limitations. My great, unchanging God can see so much more and I limit Him when I think He is only concerned with my good in that moment. The enemy had a heyday with me, I am sad to say. My family didn’t know it because I kept most of it to myself, which is what the enemy wants. He is all about doing damage that no one can see because then he can get a foothold and go to work doing more damage. I realized that what started as a small disappointment in the big scheme of life started to grow and so did the darkness in my heart that came with it.
Now, I am not saying that we should not give God the glory for the good things in our lives. We should! He does great things and great blessings. We should give Him the glory for everything in our lives. The good and what feels like the bad. It is all his. Our happiness is not defined by our cirmcumstances, our peace is defined by the One who is greater than our circumstances.
So what happened? Well, the event happened and I apologized to God for my very immature temper tantrum. And what was the event? Well, that’s the thing. I don’t feel that I should describe the details of the event. It was a blessing that God used in my life to be sure. He came through in a way more than I could have ever imagined. In this case, I just want it to be about Him, not my event. I should not be conditional about my recognition of God in my life. I will admit a very ugly truth: Am I just willing to “give him glory” for the great things in my life when really I just want to brag about an event? Ugh. Yeah, that kinda destroys the idea that it is about Him doesn’t it? It is a heart check. When I say I am glorifying God, am I hoping that I will be noticed and told how blessed I am or am I truly wanting others to look past me and see God?
“He must increase, but I must decrease.” John 3:30.
kristiharrington
